Tell me, [%userclass]--what is it that I can do for you?
If it isn't the young and illustrious [%username]! Come to join the bureaucracy of Pandaemonium?
Monsters and warfare are far less terrifying than petitions, reports, and accounting.
Thrilling, don't you think?
In my hands rests the fate of all Asmodae, [%userclass]. While you flit around the Abyss flashing off your wings, I am here making sure civilization doesn't break down.