Azphelumbra!
Got coins?
Something has gone wrong--very wrong. I can't do my job! Blast! Shards! Fie!
Please enter /petition in your Chat window and inform a GM.
I'm counting on you, [%username], to help me.
I shouldn't be saying this.
I shouldn't be saying anything at the moment, as I'm a function NPC.
Will you please report me to an administrator?
I'd be grateful.