[%username]? I've been hearing tales of your exploits. I'm honored to serve you.
I have a wide selection of shield shapes and sizes to choose from. Take your time--every single one is a work of art.
I promise a perfect fit, too. You'll never have any shield chafing!
Something has gone wrong--very wrong. I can't do my job! Blast! Shards! Fie!
Please enter /petition in your Chat window and inform a GM.
I'm counting on you, [%username], to help me.