Well, hello there, [%userclass].
You look like a talented Alchemist. Why, I can feel you changing the chemistry in this very room. Let my wares aid in your work.
Something has gone wrong--very wrong. I can't do my job! Blast! Shards! Fie!
Please enter /petition in your Chat window and inform a GM.
I'm counting on you, [%username], to help me.