[%username], you look hungry. How about some delicious Hard-boiled Abex meat?
Or maybe some of my famous Menthcrem Salad made with only the freshest ingredients?
Whatever your tastes, I've got it for sale here at a reasonable price.
Something has gone wrong--very wrong. I can't do my job! Blast! Shards! Fie!
Please enter /petition in your Chat window and inform a GM.
I'm counting on you, [%username], to help me.