Wow, [%username], we haven't seen you in a while. You've returned just in the nick of time--we could really use your help!
I've got some supplies here that'll help make the transition a little easier.
Something has gone wrong--very wrong. I can't do my job! Blast! Shards! Fie!
Please enter /petition in your Chat window and inform a GM.
I'm counting on you, [%username], to help me.